​

 

How to Manage your Fear While Giving Shiatsu

 

 

INTRODUCTION

 

As a practitioner or student of shiatsu there will no doubt be times that fear emerges in you while giving shiatsu. How we relate to our fear will impact the shiatsu and our experience of it. It is not enough to just give some good suggestions for when you feel fear. That is a part of it, what is more required is a deeper dive, an understanding of how we are relating to fear, which includes how we construe it, judge it and invalidate its place in the shiatsu exchange.

 

To support ourselves in this realm it is helpful to cultivate a relationship to fear that is life affirming, wholesome and in service to the healing power of shiatsu. 

 

We tend to relate to emotions through a dualistic lens of good/bad, positive/negative. Our habitual minds, designed for our survival, need to name, categorize, and order our experience so we can predict and ultimately, as is its intention, to control. From this point of view we are likely to judge fear as a so-called negative emotion that is bad and thus needs to be got rid of. This could not be further from the truth. The emotion of fear is not the problem, it is our relationship with it though, that might need attention.

 

Consider that, when fear arises, you are at a threshold where something fresh is waiting to arrive and that is absolutely in service to the clients healing as well as your own aliveness. This fear has arisen in the field of the relationship and is relevant to it, so is not to be swept away but welcomed, held and inhabited on behalf of both you and your client.

 

Within our understanding of Oriental medicine, Fear signals that we stand at the doorway to the Water element. When we embrace our fear, the Water element reveals its gifts.

​

THE EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE OF THE WATER ELEMENT IN RELATION TO OUR SHIATSU

​

The Water element provides us with the essential ‘water of life’, in its literal, metaphorical  and mythological sense. It is the depths we can drink and draw strength from, and which provides the courage that will empower our shiatsu and support us in being true. It is the Water element that carries the potential of who we are in essence, and which when opened to  gives us its treasures, leading to our aliveness, gratitude and awe. The Water element is inherent in us as our own vitality and thirst for life. It carries our own unique talents and gifts, bringing us a greater sense of  love and joy when we give of them freely.

 

Fear is the emotion associated with the Water element. Fear of course is a necessary emotion that serves us well by alerting us to danger. If we look at it from the point of view of being an animal emotion that serves our continued survival, then we know its original instinctual value. Animals need to be aware of any potential threats in the environment so that they can act accordingly. For this they rely on their instincts, typically flight, fight, freeze or fawning. An animal in the wild will respond with whichever will serve its survival best. This is true also of us human beings who are also animals, with the added potential response of dissociating. Of course we are not just animals; we have reason and a well-developed aesthetic and moral sense that can temper our instinctive reactions.

 

Fear can arise in situations that are not physically threatening to us, yet create the physiology in our bodies analogous to a survival threat. I am speaking here of our many fears and insecurities that we carry and that can get triggered in different relational situations. This is relevant to us as practitioners, as there will be times that fear will emerge in us as we are giving a shiatsu. We naturally want to do well in our treatments, and we want to experience that, as practitioners ,we are effective and are making a difference.

 

In the context of giving a shiatsu, our fear will be determined by many factors, environmental (internal and external), cultural and otherwise, and will include our relational survival patterns, learned mainly in childhood. We will have created certain beliefs about ourselves and about others, that we may struggle with and repress because of their associated pain. These pains are mostly related to early unmet needs. 

 

ATTENDING TO AND TRANSFORMING OUR RELATIONSHIP TO FEAR AND THUS OUR SHIATSU

 

The Picture

 

So the arising of fear in us invites us into its domain of the Water element. 

 

When fear arises in the body, our animal selves assume danger is present, that we at some level are under threat, and action is required. Fear activates the adrenal glands providing us with the energy and mental focus to act to lessen the threat.

 

The fear arises in the relationship and in that sense belongs to the relational field. It may not be totally accurate to see it only as ‘your’ fear, though there will be truth in that, in part. It may be more useful to say that there is fear present in the field and that we can play our part in the relationship in how we deal with it. Of course you have to take responsibility for your experience and acknowledge that you are feeling afraid, albeit a field phenomenon. The fear that has arisen will comfortably find a home in you, as it will resonate with your history, your sense of self and identity relative to the expectations you place upon yourself.

 

Often our first reaction to fear is to be afraid of the fear, as it signals danger and here we are, trying simply to give a shiatsu. We believe we now have a problem that we need to deal with, and for this, we determine that a strategy is required. The problem with this, is that the strategy takes our attention away from staying in contact in the shiatsu. We move to a self-serving position, in place of being in service to the shiatsu and to the clients' healing. 

 

Of course, we do need to take care of ourselves when fear arises and it's about how we do that, all the while staying in relational contact. It is not about us or them but us both. As fear serves the purpose of ensuring our survival, in that moment we may suddenly become acutely aware of being a separate self that is now in a challenging environment. You will of course note that, your life is not actually under threat, though you are experiencing feelings of threat. These feelings are strongly tied to your own personal needs which in the moment are under threat of not being met. They tie in strongly to relational dynamics and resultant survival strategies learned in your early years that are being activated here.

 

We commonly may fear that we are not enough, we fear being found out for the fraud we secretly believe we are, we fear humiliation, abandonment, rejection or reprise of some sort. All of this is going on below the surface.

 

The challenge

 

If we fear our fear, then that needs our attention first. It is as if the fire alarm has gone off, which could, in everyday life,  mean an actual fire though not necessarily. The alarm may have been triggered accidentally. Consider first, here in the shiatsu, that there isn’t an actual danger, though you may have the feelings and thoughts associated with a threat. Such thoughts underlying the fear, and not immediately available to our awareness, could be:- they won’t like me, respect me, or value me, I’m not good enough, I will be abandoned, rejected, found wanting etc, etc.

 

The question is how do we support ourselves in this moment? Perhaps the first thing could be to do what nature does in the winter, the Water time of year. Nature pauses, it knows the value of stopping and resting. In this, we are recognising that we are in the Water element and are expanding beyond the aspect of Water that is fear. We are remembering that the Water element is far more than that.

 

When we are in fear, our minds tend to become active, seeking to know what this fear means for us, (mostly unconsciously) in order to know what to do. It wants  a solution to a perceived problem, this apparent threat. Yet in truth, it is purely an emotion arising within you and in the relational space, that just wants to be felt. It is the letting go of fearing our fear that allows us to just feel the fear and to stay present to the moment and its inherent mystery. 

 

The invitation is to give up any conscious figuring out or searching and allow ourselves to be with our felt sense and feel the purity and rawness of the emotion. Then any relevant meaning and action will likely emerge spontaneously and intuitively  once the emotion is allowed. 

 

Further Support

 

In the shiatsu we might be stressing about what meridian to work, whether this point is kyo or jitsu, or just general thoughts of not getting it right, not being good enough and so on. Under this stream of consciousness the river of fear will be flowing and likely not consciously acknowledged, though certainly felt somewhere in the body. We leap for our favourite and well practiced strategies just to calm the waters and then end up losing genuine contact with the client. 

 

You may hear your teacher saying come back to the hara, a great antidote to the over active mind. This move provides a wonderful refocusing, which I utterly endorse, however more is required. When coming to your hara, you will initiate a grounding but there may be a danger of staying in a more focused, Metal stance. The invitation here is to allow our awareness to spread from the Hara to the fullness of the whole abdomen and to the lower body and your contact with the ground, and then to consciously inhabit the fullness of your whole body. This embodiment is an inhabiting the Earth element.

 

Exploring this idea further; having paused, we can notice what is now needed. When we are scared we want reassurance and we seek safety. In practical terms in the shiatsu this means leaning into the Earth element, the grandparent of the Water element and the element which can hold the Water.

 

Earth, unlike Water, has substance, density, physical presence and in animals, has flesh. When we occupy our Earth, we are in touch with our compassion, our desire to comfort, support and to reassure. In life with others, we extend a friendly and caring hand, offering a hug, kind words receiving a person as they are. Earth is about welcoming, grounding, and embodying.

 

So, when we are afraid of our fear we need, after pausing, to inhabit the Earth element. The Earth receives everything to itself. Firstly, let us allow and receive our fear, it is not wrong, let it be. This first move then is a friendly one of reassurance, despite the experience, it's ok. This allows a bit of space for the original fear that we were afraid of accepting.

 

The next Earth move would be to consciously feel the ground that you are on and then inhabit your body, ie embody yourself more fully. Practically this might mean feeling the sensations of the body, choosing to be aware of your density, and consciously being in the flesh of your body. Choose to occupy your body sensually and potently by bringing your conscious awareness to it. 

 

The instruction is purely and simply to fully arrive in and inhabit your body. This grounding as an Earth principle, holds the Water and its fear, helping the latter to dissolve or to transform into other parts of the Water element. Essentially, we are bringing ourselves back to a place of safety where we can potentially trust other parts of ourselves, rather than solely our strategic survivor self.

 

Earth is also about softness, so softening to the self is most helpful here and can be supported by attention to the outbreath, which helps release the frozen part of ourselves. 

 

Softening to the self requires a willingness to be vulnerable. The shiatsu is done in relationship, so we could say you are asking yourself to be vulnerable in the relationship, to allow your vulnerability to be present and undefended. To do this we have to abandon any idea of what we believe we are meant to be in the relationship. Dare we give up notions, in the moment, of knowing, of being certain, in short of being the expert? So, our 'out-breath' is important here for dissolving what we have been attached to. Our clinging to our self judgements, expectations and demands on ourselves as shoulds and oughts is all an over-zealous Metal activity. As we breathe out and give ourselves permission to release our attachment to these, we move into the realm of the Water element for renewal and new inspiration arising out of a trust in the dark, unknown, mystery.

 

It is also important to understand that the fear that we are experiencing may signal the presence of other emotions below the fear that we might feel slightly threatened by. So for example, if sadness, despair or anger for example arises in you, it may automatically initiate a fear response, i.e. you may be threatened by feeling these emotions in this healing space. They are judged prior to any consciousness of them. By being vulnerable to the fear we also allow these other emotions to emerge which too are part of the relational field and in that sense not just yours. They need to be welcomed too for the shiatsu to unfold and for deep healing to happen.

 

Fear as a movement of energy

 

Another helpful stance is to recognise at the experiential level what fear is, when unhooked from the judgement or story. It is just a movement of energy within your inner space, that may or may not activate sensations within you that are also movements in inner space. Fear at this level is lifeforce, felt at various levels of intensity which when allowed to be, tend to awaken us. Often when fear is unjudged and allowed to be, we experience excitement, potential, possibility and aliveness, all Water element qualities. 

 

IN SUMMARY

 

This practical application, in part, demonstrates how we can use our knowledge of the five elements to support ourselves in our shiatsu. 

 

Firstly, when fear arose, we sought  nature's wisdom and made a horizontal movement in the Water element, honouring the need to pause and rest. Secondly, we used the control cycle of Water bringing the Earth element to bear. And thirdly, through our attention to the out breath we used the support of the Metal element, the parent of water to loosen our hold on unhelpful demands, expectations and judgements.

 

What is important here is that we do not name fear as “the baddy”, something to be rid of, that we ideally would not be experiencing  here. Instead, we can see fear as a threshold and a gateway into the depths and treasures of the Water element. It is for this reason that we need to embrace and befriend our fear. It never was our foe.

 

When the judgement of fear as wrong, bad or negative, is allowed to separate from the true raw experience of fear, we tend to experience it, in its essence, as energy moving through us, as a wave of pure lifeforce.

 

Once fear is attended to in this way, we are more likely to access the very wisdom of the Water element that is needed in the moment for our shiatsu to unfold. What may emerge is an instinctive knowing, a sense of potency, a courage and the will to proceed thus.

 

Often the mistake made in our shiatsu when fear arises is to reach for the comfort and familiarity of a trusted strategy and then lose the depth of authentic connection with our client. 

 

In my experience, when I am able to embrace my fear and give it a place of value in the shiatsu, something unexpected awakens, I am not alone, but part of the great mystery unfolding through me. I am present, touched, and  I remember why I love shiatsu so much and have gratitude for the miracle of life that I am a part of. I am in awe of how healing takes place in the here and now beyond my understanding and personal agency. In that moment there is a dissolution of the separation between myself and the receiver where shiatsu is arising naturally, effortlessly and spontaneously, no doer, just stillness and movement as one.

​

​

 

​